i now pronounce this weapons week!

odie just unleashed a fury in his litter box.  if that exact moment marines had thrown a few of those beauties into _____ compound he would have begged to surrender. and so my cute cat has inspired me again, on the heels of my flamethrower blog, to write another entry on weapons….

Some of the most rutheless types of weapons are chemical and biological, and one of the earliest forms of biological warfare was the shit bomb. i kid you not. in ancient china they took  mondo amounts of dried turds, parceled them with fireworks powder (their greatest invention), and threw them like grenades at their enemies. not only did the smell make any surviving opposition run like hell, the exploding poopie spread an array of disease. lovely. and thus an early form of the bio bomb was born.

based on the premise that people hate the smell of caca (lets give a round of applause to captain obvious) engineers in ww2 found a way to concentrate “shit stank” in gas form and unleashed it on the enemy. supposedly it was so unbearable it was like being trapped in the subway tunnels of new york city during summertime. this is a smell best described as a homeless man eating raw cocoa for a week, drinking five 40 ounce malt liquor beers, binging on  fallafel, and dropping his pants right then and there to lay a brick on rotting cigar leaves. and then pissing on the whole thing. simmer at 105 degrees +85% humidity for two weeks in july for best results.  yes. its that bad. and you thought mustard gas was bad!

before i end up on a big brother hit list id just like to say that i do not condone violence or use of weapons in any form. this blog is based on a tv show i saw on cable television and on the widely available wiki entry on the subject.  thank you.

other early forms of bio warfare were practiced by the vampire man himself, vlad the impaler, aka dracula. as we know from history (which is always innacaurate) when he wasnt busy with his hobby of impaling enemies he took time out  to cut off  heads of the diseased and throw them into water wells.   his opponents  got a nice big refreshing gulp of illness on those days. as im told, this was highly effective at spreading disease.  vlad also “sent subjects disguised as Turks, stricken with infectious disease, to live among the armies in their camps” . nice guy. this was about the same time  he tried creating an entire forest of the impaled to deter enemies passing through. it worked though. they ran like hell.

other forms of bio weapons; fungus in wells (assyrians), venemous snakes on a plane ship (hannibal), catapulting plague ridden corpses over enemy walls (mongols and turks and russians), sharing dirty blankets (our nice ancestors, british settlers of amerika) and that pretty much brings up up to date with the real scary shit of the 20th century.  which includes a variety of bacteria fungi vectors sprays insects etc… im not going anywhere near  the full array of how they can kill people now even if i had a gas mask and  and level 17 hazard suit. lets just say we all should be glad this stuff his hard to weaponize or wed all be screwed. (due to human error as i usually the case). for more details on the scary shit check wiki.

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