Im counting down my days to freedom. thanksgiving vacay is two early morn eye-bleeding rises away. I relish the mornings when i dont have to answer to any god except my own. ive got a lot of gears turning in my mind as to how to best craft my future. somehow i have to keep reminding myself that my destiny is determined by me, well mostly by me. i must feel that i am in control. or else ill drive this ship far off course, letting the currents and ideas of others blow me to a place id rather not be. a particular brand of hell where banality and low pay are the only options.
in the predicament i am in (and yes it is a predicament, i assure you) i am paying the debts for a work free youth. surei enjoyed ten years of no responsibilites (for the most part). now im lacking ten years of traditional work history that makes for better salaries. but i can mix a chocolate raspberry martini that would blow your motherfuckin mind. we call those trade offs. guess who’s now on the losing end.
When i started this blog i compared to myself/my life to a small ship sailing in a vast sea. no road map. no gps. just a belief in the heavens, far more than an inner belief. Just a hope. big success. no whammies.
at least i have the dream. that really is the big difference.
doing an indelicate survey: I’m a little more work “historied” for future employment in a venue that doesnt have music or mirrors. i have more work done on all projects. i think my writing has gotten better. it has a long way to go. i can write compelling dialogue. (hell, id watch my movie)
yet i would like more. and im setting up visual goals. a vacation in hawaii is one of them. a car i dont mind valeting. a place to call my own. another sphynx for odie to keep company with. and to have all the projects done.
a girl should dream, shouldnt she? a girl need to dream. or she will perish.