Amazing nature landscapes: lull of calm (after the storm)

Dearest odyssians,


We offer you A picture of calming waters, to soothe your mercury-in-retrograde frazzled nerves. Its been one heck of a Topsy turvy week,  hasnt it?!

Odie – “a pitcher of bacardi and coke might work better for these pirates nerves. Get it? Pitcher, not picture? Haa. Haa. Came up with that one all by myself. Oh thank you, thank you. The standing ovation wasnt necessary, but it is appreciated. Ill be here all day, btw.

Om – “funny. Except you may have noticed i was standing up already. Cat jokes aside though. How bout a compromise: a picture of bacardi and cokes? See what I did there.  You can laugh in earnest. One of those deep felt belly laughs that only cats can do.  Its ok. Accepting how funny my human joke was wont hurt you. ”

Odie -“nice try ma, but I prefer the real thing. humor included. Listen. We are pirates, after all. Legit rum and cokes on lots of ice -no limes- is our shared passion. That cannot be denied.”

Om -“Well honey,  we tried the real rum thing at least 8 times in one spectacular night this weekend & it didn’t work. Remember? Odie? Omg odie! You dont remember that drowner of an evening at all do you? Its ok. You can admit it. I am your mother, after all, I was there too. I think.”

Odie – “isnt me not being able to recall most of that evening a good thing?”

Om – “not when the very next morning you clearly notice the rum induced debauchery didnt offer permanent solutions to more lasting problems.”

Odie -“The pounding headache certainly didnt help me forget them either.”

Om – “so you get those too?”

Odie -“the Devils work I say! Feels like a dull axe is being sharpened on my skull with the intent that ill go permanently blind. But its just not sharp enough. For hours.”

Om – “mine are worse. Feels like a vacuum has sucked all hydration and intelligence out of my brain and replaced it with a larger amount of searing hot, pain inducing numbness that is angry and has mallets. Lots of mallets.”

Odie – “wooden or rubber?”

Om- “stop being an ass.”

Odie – well, youre whole hangover intelligence vacuum thingy certainly explains everything for me. And i mean Everything. P.s. im a cat, not a donkey. ”

Om- “yes. youre a cat. A cat that can get hangovers… I suppose that speaks to your human side, even though theres no mistaking youre quite the hairless feline. Dont give me that withering look. That was a compliment. Honestly.”

Odie – “Then I would much rather be seen as human first and foremost for my ability to shit in a pan and not on the floor. I learned from the best. Secondly, because I can hold this convo with you. Thirdly, because ultimately im funnier than you. Voila and Finito.”

Om- “really? ill be sure to let everyone reading this know you think youre funnier. Theyll be stunned with disbelief. Just like I am now.”

Odie- “thanks. Youre a real gem. And theyll agree. With me. Just wait til the comments pour in. In my favor.”

Om – “any time lil man. Just remember funny can’t open a fresh can of fancy feast turkey giblets in the morning! Or put them in a clean dish next to a fresh bowl of water. And funny certainly cant wipe your ass after you take that divinely targeted shit you just sang about.”

Odie -“duly noted. Youre def funnier. Funniest human, I mean being, I know. Paws down.”

om – “I knew you would agree. Nite my little ham with legs. Turkeys coming right up in the a.m. and toilet paper as needed.”

Odie – “this is why I love you. Nite mom.”

O and om


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