2015 Time Machine Blogging Challenge : Past = Perfect

Dearest Odyssians,

litebeing chronicles time machine challenge via eyesofodysseus

I am at a loss for words. Here is the challenge I’ve agreed to take on, courtesy of Linda Lite at Litebeing Chronicles – Time Machine Blogging Challenge.

Directions: Pick a time in your life that was critical to your development. You can go back or forwards in time. It can be real or imagined. After all, it is real if you imagine it!

Choose an idea or a skill or a value you hold dear in the present and infuse it into that time period.

Share your story of what happens to positively impact your life.

Truth: This blogging challenge has me challenged.

Truth: I have regrets (things about my past I’d like to go back and change). But sharing them here seems too personal (and more than a little selfish). Though I’ve maintained impeccable anonymity throughout my three years of blogging, revealing the lowest points of my life – the points I have any legit desire to go back in time and talk myself out of doing or handling differently to avert known results, takes impossible amounts of vulnerability and bravery that I do not have at this time. Forgive me. And forgive my poor punctuation.

Truth: I’m no axe murderer, or DUI drunk that killed a family of six in a minivan. I havent been to jail or ruined someone’s life, not even my own.

Truth: The regrets are still real.

Truth: While I have gotten over a major need to go back and change the past, I wish I could go back in time and talk to me when I was in my darkest, loneliest times, the times where I felt I had no purpose or validation or future.

Here’s what I would say to the me then:

You are a writer. You are a good writer. Maybe even a great writer. But you won’t know this until you spend years (your 20’s) trying to be a DJ, music composer, artist, painter, graphic designer, waitress, bartender, club hopper, and lay about. This run-around exercise – acting against ‘self’ and ‘destiny’ – will last seven years…or more…. hang in there. The sooner you start writing though, the sooner you can move on.

You are a writer. You are a good writer. Maybe even a great writer, but you won’t know this until you exit the terrible relationships you entered with people you had no true connection of future with because you were busy trying to find purpose in your life. They weren’t wife beaters, but you weren’t the next coming of Picasso either. Your true purpose is being a writer. And when you find it you will meet people as your true authentic self. And you will not be worried about inflating non existent accomplishments, or proving your worth against anyone else’s worth, because you will have, and know, your own. And though you may stumble upon this tendency to doubt your purpose and your power, and your essential self, now and again (as past bleeds into present), stay strong, and true. And love will meet you half way.

You are a writer. You are a good writer. Maybe even a great writer. So start writing now, no matter how much you don’t want to and keep at it. Don’t let those small poems and beginnings of short stories you didn’t believe were worth finishing sit in a top drawer next to old receipts and chapstick and become meaningless/unfinished fluff. Save them. Savour them. Share them. They are good enough for other people to see. And they are the beginnings of finding your true self and purpose.

You are a writer. You are a good writer. Maybe even a great writer. So start writing and sharing even when you are too scared to do it. Don’t hold back on the truth you feel in your heart. You were made to feel ‘different’ as you often do. Your one-of-a-kind experience of feeling alone in your views of the world are real. Your way of recounting it is unique, your voice is yours alone… But you must share it with other people so you can find magnificent connection and understanding across many seas, lands, and time zones. Then you will see that your unique voice resonates with others. This is a good and powerful thing, and does not diminish purpose or experience; it authenticates them. Do not be afraid to share what this ‘original’ voice is. Just be sure to keep it geniune. And keep writing it, so it grows stronger, more personal, more brazen, and more bold, and therefore, more relatable.

You are a good writer. Not a great writer. Not yet. Not until you sit down at the keyboard and sweat it out for hours everyday. Not until you give up all other notions of wealth and fame and fortune falling out of the sky to give you something to do and take your worries away, and not until you stop hiding and running away from the keyboard. The only way to get to that place you need to be as the writer you want to be is the put the work in. No shirking, no jiving, and no running. Just sitting at the keyboard and doing. And more doing and more sitting at the keyboard – Facing those crippling fears that keep you from pressing the send button, until you’ve sat so long you press send because you can’t sit and wait anymore. This will happen much sooner than you think. And more often, once it’s been done that first time, bad punctuation and all.

You are a good writer. People will read what you have to say. No ones going to be upset by your views, or hold them against you, or hate you. No one cares. And they probably won’t for years. And when they do, you’ll have made it. Which means more people are reading and relating to you than you ever could have imagined. How’s that for facing your fears and welcoming what the universe has in store?

You can be a great writer. But you must always knows that the advice I’m giving you now will never not be true. You will never feel as if your work is good enough. You will never be completely satisfied that anything is done. You will never know how good your writing is until you have the guts to share it. Then someone may tell you (but don’t count on it) and then that feeling of “I am a great writer” will disappear the next morning, or as soon as you sit down at the keyboard and challenge yourself to write again. It is a part of writing. It doesn’t always feel great because it is art, and there are no guidelines in art, and if you are being your authentic self the words you are sharing have never been shared before. And that ain’t easy.

Truth: Its happening right now. I don’t like what I’ve written here today. But i am sharing it. and maybe one day in the future I’ll look back and say, I wish I could go back to that October day in 2015 and say… press the send button, silly. It isn’t your best writing. and you didn’t share all of the events of the past that you’ve thought about fixing many a time. But maybe because you can have this conversation in your head about not being afraid to share this, you’ve made tremendous strides as a writer, and as a human trying to do her best on a strange planet spinning around a quadrant of the vast universe that poses many more exciting questions than it gives answer to. And maybe one of your friends who is purposed to be a writer, but is still afraid to be a writer, is reading this, and will say… I am a writer. and I better start writing today, despite my fears. Because it won’t always be easy, but it does get easier.

Thank you to all of my Odyssians for reading. and for understanding.

And thank you to Linda LIteBeing for allowing a valuable platform that delves into the darkest and dangerous parts of our psyches… facing the parts of our selves we wish we could change, but can’t. All we can do is move forward and ask what these six words have to do with it all anyway:

DESTINY.  FATE.  CHOICE.  CHANCE.  LUCK.  REALITY. TRUE PURPOSE.

Was there ever any other way things could have gone? were we ever in control? are we now?  how could we ever know what was right or wrong, until we did it? did we not do our best at that time. will we not make mistakes again? Are we not better for having made them, and learning. For there is no advancement without loss or pain.

And none of us is privy to the future. and none, not even the gods, can change the past. It is solely up to us to think about our lives (and what we’ve done) in different ways. And hope that we prepare ourselves for the future with wiser and more forgiving eyes.

Hugs and many thank you’s,

O and OM.

****Please check out more Time Machine Challenges and follow tomorrow’s (October 10, 2015) addition by Tiramit.

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33 thoughts on “2015 Time Machine Blogging Challenge : Past = Perfect

      • It is not like Cinderella where it all ends at midnight. Funny with this challenge many folks are posting at the very start of their day. I probably will wait to the evening when I publish my post. But hey, even with Mercury retro, all bloggers are present and accounted for. R u guys digging the material? I think this might be my best challenge yet, but hell I love them all <3

      • HI ll-
        one of the things i like about wordpress is we are all serious bloggers and we take our challenges/commitments seriously. each of us makes the group stronger.
        I’m loving the material, and I like how everyone’s entry covered a completely different aspect of what getting in a time machine could be. I think the challenge says much more about where we are now, then it says about who we were then. Isn’t that something to ponder?
        hugs,
        o and om.
        ** shouldnt have made mine so mournful perhaps. and put more lite at the end of the tunnel. But i had to come as honest as possible because i believe our vulnerability as writers is our strength amid the ever-changing tides.
        thanks for your encouragement on this one.
        hugs,
        o and om

  1. ok I am back, ( yet again). Thank you for taking this on. Did not anticipate such trepidation, but perhaps that has less to so with blogging and more to do with your current head-space. I do not know. What I do know is that many have felt what you are feeling about an identity as an artist. No one promised us who are different a rose garden ( but hey that would be sweet.) The relationship with self is analogous with the ones forged with others. Anyway you slice it, this is truth and it can only be camouflaged for so long.

    Thanks for hanging in there and sharing a bit more of your authentic self here. Odie is nodding in agreement. Or maybe he just wants another treat :) Anyway, I am nodding in agreement that you are a great writer housed inside a sometimes frightened human suit. It is just a matter of time…

    hugs, Linda

    • hi linda,
      odie wants another treat. but he already had many today. i kept him well ‘treated’ while he stuck by my side writing this challenge. it was much harder for me to do than i thought.usually my blogs are breeze. is that because they are mostly pictures? answer: yes.
      I might go in and spruce up the ending to be more uplifting.
      really want people to know that once we find our purpose, we can handle anything. but we must be true in that. and we must work for it. and we will face failures and set backs in it, even if it is our calling, but through failures/set backs we can grow, learn, and excel.
      if only there were an easy way to find our purposes early on. seems that those who know what they want to do from an early age, and stick with it, turn out to be the most successful of us all. And there are those who never find or follow their true callings, and they are affected by this most negatively. the sun shines brighter with authentic goals.

      Hugs,
      o and om.

  2. Whoa you go on sister girl with your bad self! :D I like it.I believe that if when you “ponder” seeing and speaking to your younger self, while writing from your now self, about writing…….well, what I contend is that, that is time travel.

    You are a writer, a good writer, and even a great writer.
    So shake your lil writing self over to WWIP, and give me a short story for the Spooky Writing Challenge. lol

    I so believe in you. All my friends here are really good writers. It is such a pleasure and a privilege.
    <3
    Namaste
    Sindy

    • Hi Robin,

      Thank you for your kinds words and reassurance. So glad that we could inspire you to keep being your authentic self in your writing, and vice versa. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.

      Hugs,
      o and om

  3. Oh I love LOVE this.. :-) O And Om.. And YOU are a great writer.. would that we all could go back and give ourselves such good advice :-) and I so agreed with your list DESTINY. FATE. CHOICE. CHANCE. LUCK. REALITY. TRUE PURPOSE… All meant to be as we walk our journey, discovering ourselves along the way.. Each choice chosen whether we think them right or wrong meant to be, or else we wouldn’t have made them..
    I Know you are an Excellent Writter dear O and Om. and that was just a taster!..

    Love and Hugs to you :-) Enjoy your weekend my friend .. xxx Sue <3

    • hi sue dream-maker,

      So happy to hear that you are a fan of our writing. know that we are big fans of yours as well. you, As a fellow artists, and believer in the six power words in caps (being an important part of our greater existence profile), are a welcomed expert on the subject.

      We used the weekend to decompress, and soak in the positive comments that flowed our way. Took us awhile to get back to the keyboard, but we come back humbled, and ready to share more, and read more our talented, great writing friends.

      how is the harvest going?

      hugs,

      o and om

      • Glad to hear you are taking time our for yourselves :-) and chilling in the basking of compliments, all of them sincerely delivered upon your excellent post..

        The Harvest are good.. and made several jars of green tomato chutney among other baked goodies this last few weeks… Plus found time to paint.. so I am a happy girl at the moment :-) Loved hearing back and thank you for your welcome visit.. xxx Big Hugs Sue xxx

    • hi BF!!

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing in this time challenge with us. Your support is invaluable. I agree with you: together we are slowly realizing it is ok to grow and learn as writers. This doesnt happen overnight, that’s why our collective experiences as humans make our writing what is it today.

      Perhaps if i’d started writing much earlier (though I’ve been at it a good 8 years now), I might not have the voice that I’m happy sharing on wordpress. I will comfortably assume that you, as a wise writer, feel the same way.

      Thank you again ford dropping by, sharing, and for blossoming with us! And happy creating!

      hugs,
      o and om

  4. Dear O,

    Thank you for this resounding affirmation of the fact that we get there… but also the recognition that once we get there we still have to show up…! I think you’ve met the challenge wonderfully, and as a fellow writer-in-training always find your work uplifting and emboldening. As soon as I quit distracting myself with WP, I’m going to go and finish that last chapter I was telling you about… Ha!

    I think the thing about time travel is that we don’t realize how profoundly grace works. I loved your recognition that we do the best we can, and we can’t know what we don’t know until we live it. Hence the need to stay in the living of it all… But there is grace in the perfection that arises even when it doesn’t seem to be so perfect, and I’m sure your experiences as a DJ-composer-bartending-graphic designer will serve you well in the stories you will craft…

    Thanks for this!
    Michael

    • HI MM –

      So your finishing the chapter!! This is great news. Please let us know as soon as the icing is back on the cake so to speak.

      Odie and I are especially proud that you’ve found our work uplifting – we were sure this last entry might leave a few down hearts, because the truth is writing is not all sunshine and rainbows. But writing is what we make of it. And in that way we have some small control over that aspect of our destinies (if only for the moment before we press the send button), where it can seem we have little say in the grand scheme.

      Your notes on Grace are good ones. I agree – Once we believe we are at our best we start to lose grace, and also the very thing that can make us better at our craft; humility. The need to learn and grow and get better doesn’t devalue our expertise that we’ve gained to that point, but it puts us in a place where can have the proper mindset about our work. As artists we must commit everything we have, but we cant be too flippant, or too serious about what we are committing to the page. Our work is an extension of us, a select extension albeit, but it is not everything that we are – it is not us. (And when we relax at the paddles, Grace can weave her beautiful way into our thoughts and work. A closed, stressed mind is very bad for writing.)

      That’s extremely hard to for us to remember – our work is not us – because we (esp you and I considering the type of writing we do) have to dig so deep into the core of our beings/minds/souls to get the the authentic stuff… the written gold. That’s the stuff we want to share.
      and we want it to be our best.

      Let us never lose that, but let us not allow one work alone to break us on the rocks of the publishing shores.

      On that note, I’m off to write a somewhat more storied/heartfelt opening to our agent letters. We don’t konw if the first ones a keeper, but I wanted to have a variety of missives sent out to cover the bases. Not hearing back from agents for 4-6 weeks makes us consider our deep intuition to readjust our landing approach.

      Tell us how your chapter goes…

      godspeed MM.

      hugs,
      o and om.

  5. “Don’t hold back on the truth you feel in your heart.” Amen!
    And, “Was there ever any other way things could have gone? were we ever in control? are we now? how could we ever know what was right or wrong, until we did it? did we not do our best at that time. will we not make mistakes again? Are we not better for having made them, and learning. For there is no advancement without loss or pain.” Makes me wonder about alternate realities. And if we heal the past, and time travel is true, then we must actually heal that little one then – now.
    Great, thought provoking post. Thank you O and Om.
    And, you are a great writer.
    <3 Mary

    • hi wmp-

      Thank you for your continued support and love. Your words keep us writing. And we take your compliment to dearest heart, hold it close, and bring it as a shield into the fray of more letter writing.
      hugs and hugs,
      and happy writing and photo taking….
      O and OM.

    • Hi Kellie-
      I’m glad Linda brought us together too. This challenge has opened a lot of pathways, spiritually and in ‘the matrix.’
      Im so happy to hear from a fellow writer that you’ve had these thoughts as well. Im glad my post could be inspiring.
      Keep dreaming, keep writing, and keep sharing and visiting us.

      Many thanks,
      hugs,
      O and OM.

  6. Dear O and OM: )

    YAY! :-D
    YOU DID IT!!!

    And there’s more to come, right?

    I love what you wrote about the future, how no one is privy to it! I love the freedom and courage in all of your writing. Voice! Looking forward to more when I’m done with my WP break!

    <3 Ka

    • Hi ka –
      Yes, we did it. and we are still doing it. As you are! Please enjoy your much needed break. We all need time to recharge and refresh and enjoy being us… WE’ll be here when you get back. :)
      hugs,
      o and om.

  7. “You are a writer. You are a good writer. Maybe even a great writer” –> true. You *are* a good writer.
    Thanks for sharing what you would have told your younger self.

    The points in this little pep-talk are all so true. They are probably true for anyone sharing here on WP, and they sound very encouraging.

    Karin

    • Hi Karin –

      Lovely to have your enthusiastic support. I’m was hoping that my sharing allowed other writers to see we are all going through the same rough patches to get to the gold mines, so I’m glad to hear that my words sound encouraging to others.

      Hugs,
      O and OM :)

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