amazing nature landscapes: long time no sea :)

dearest odyssians,

wonderful evening @ colorful seahello all. long time no sea. get it? ha ha….

so here she is.a pic of a beautiful evening setting over our great body (of water). isn’t sea lovely. wow. I’m just so punny tonight!!!!

odie and i haven’t been blogging as often as we used to, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love all of you just as much as we always have. and thats a ton!! it really just means that we’ve hit the wordpress 2. 5 year alumni mark, and the desire to do a daily blog has waned considerably. a lot of long time bloggers (5 yrs, etc)are making big $$ for their daily efforts. i don’t mean to give them short shrift, but certainly the clink of cash at the end of the internet matrix rainbow is but one thing that has them scurrying to the keys without hesitation – the hesitation that free bloggers feel.  our blog has always been unadulteratedly free. whatever that means – sounds convincing all the same.

“lets just announce it now. clear the air. settle scores. draw lines in the sand of the proverbial matrix.  everyone reading, fyi, we’ve made not 1/100th of a physical nickel from our associations in the wordpress matrix.” – odie

“but we are rich in all other things because of the blog; intellectually rich and spiritually rich. our connex with word pressers is invaluable.” – odie mama.

“ummm. yeah. how bout this? show me the money.” – odie

“you’re leaving some real unimpressive turds of sentiment in our wordpress toilet tonight. what will the bloggers think of us if we start talking about our work here in monetary terms?” – odie mama.

“frankly i wasn’t too concerned.”

“odie!”

“what? hard work should be rewarded. with money.  i have needs you know, and up to this point i don’t think I’ve  asked for anything”.-odie

“because its always provided dear.” odie mama.

“no. its not. like why not hook me up with that new king kong monolith sized scratching post? or that 300$ climbing tree/sleeper unit, and i really want the high tech triple size auto clean litter pan that just dropped at petsmart. though i do love watching you bend to clean my crap everyday, ill make adjustments for that baby! the setback on all that is like $500 large. We could squeeze that from a blog like this in a day.”

“has grammy been giving you too much catnip?  you’re way out of your lane. And your concept of money is deluded at best. OK fine. heres how you have to think of it little kitty. if we could charge mental money for the sheer joy that blogging brings we’d feel like cerebral mega millionaires wouldn’t we? people like our photos and read our inane conversations. and smile. for free. that thought alone should be enough.”-  odie mama.

“not even close. last jackpot was 400 million. in american USD. greenbacks. deniro.  in god we trust. you reading me?” – odie.

“Di-ne-ro. Not deniro. Good actor though.”- odie mama

” thank you soooo much for that correction. Hey mensa member! Were still broke. Why not wisdom up some riches?” – odie

“sweetheart, your fangs are showing. and your pockets aren’t. because you don’t have any!”- odie mama.

“thats a low blow. and i do have one pocket. should we recap where it is for our audience?” – odie

“no. we aren’t going back to that convo. stop fussing and come here and let me hold you. let me look you dead in your sweet golden eyes and say i don’t understand this new, menacing avarice of yours. a few blog entries ago we did have an unfortunate discussion about where you’d been hiding your dime; all of your hard earned savings. now you want me to turn our feel good fun time blog into a money machine?  if it did work, where would you keep your share of the profits?” – odie mama

“for 400  million, lets just say we could both afford a few more discreet hiding places. even if we have to rent them from other people. heck. even other cats” – odie

“I’m changing subjects because the gutters my mind just sank into are unmentionable. lets remember our friendships from wordpress are indispensable. valuable. rich mentally and cerebrally. and theres no way to turn a profit from posting nature photos and conversations with my cat, no matter how much of a genius i think you are.” odie mama.

“i think you’re wrong. not about me being a genius and the brains of this outfit, but about this blog of ours not turning a profit. this blog is great. its funny. its weird. its entertaining. you need to pick up that cell phone, call a few advertisers and get this thing going. do a morning news segment to showcase our spot. pass out cards. post flyers. offer free nuzzle free hugs with me. you know how much people would pay to hold a hairless cat?  if you set it up ill do the talking and reluctantly the hugging. bring some sanitizers and ill make do.  we could easily have a 400 mill. operating budget in 5 yrs. ill even split it with you 50/50 though its my ideas that’ll make it happen. 400 mill. mama!! just think of the amount of cat treats and … what something you humans always need hmm… ? tampons and toilet paper… thats like  billions of cat treats and tampons  and toilet paper you could buy for that money.” – odie

“you think our blogs gonna turn 400 million? i love you odie, but youre nuts. in a cute and cuddly way. also, if we made that kind of dough, i wouldn’t be buying ass paper, i assure u. how bout this idea. and its all mine so ill take all the credit for our sanity. we stick to photos. we post as often or as infrequently as we like, no pressure. and you can keep your hugs all for me. For compromise lets also both keep our healthy dream of 400 elusive million dollars.” – odie mama

“that reminds me. did you play the lotto by the way? i would do it but… well why state the obvious.” – odie

“good point my cat. let me just roll over to 7 eleven and drop some dollars on that impossible dream.” – odie mama.

“your best ideas are always mine.” – odie.

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hope you are all well and are looking forward to a new season with aries as our reigning sign. let spring and the opportunity for new things bless all of us wonderfully.

hugs,

o and om

 

Amazing nature landscapes: lull of calm (after the storm)

Dearest odyssians,

image

We offer you A picture of calming waters, to soothe your mercury-in-retrograde frazzled nerves. Its been one heck of a Topsy turvy week,  hasnt it?!

Odie – “a pitcher of bacardi and coke might work better for these pirates nerves. Get it? Pitcher, not picture? Haa. Haa. Came up with that one all by myself. Oh thank you, thank you. The standing ovation wasnt necessary, but it is appreciated. Ill be here all day, btw.

Om – “funny. Except you may have noticed i was standing up already. Cat jokes aside though. How bout a compromise: a picture of bacardi and cokes? See what I did there.  You can laugh in earnest. One of those deep felt belly laughs that only cats can do.  Its ok. Accepting how funny my human joke was wont hurt you. ”

Odie -“nice try ma, but I prefer the real thing. humor included. Listen. We are pirates, after all. Legit rum and cokes on lots of ice -no limes- is our shared passion. That cannot be denied.”

Om -“Well honey,  we tried the real rum thing at least 8 times in one spectacular night this weekend & it didn’t work. Remember? Odie? Omg odie! You dont remember that drowner of an evening at all do you? Its ok. You can admit it. I am your mother, after all, I was there too. I think.”

Odie – “isnt me not being able to recall most of that evening a good thing?”

Om – “not when the very next morning you clearly notice the rum induced debauchery didnt offer permanent solutions to more lasting problems.”

Odie -“The pounding headache certainly didnt help me forget them either.”

Om – “so you get those too?”

Odie -“the Devils work I say! Feels like a dull axe is being sharpened on my skull with the intent that ill go permanently blind. But its just not sharp enough. For hours.”

Om – “mine are worse. Feels like a vacuum has sucked all hydration and intelligence out of my brain and replaced it with a larger amount of searing hot, pain inducing numbness that is angry and has mallets. Lots of mallets.”

Odie – “wooden or rubber?”

Om- “stop being an ass.”

Odie – well, youre whole hangover intelligence vacuum thingy certainly explains everything for me. And i mean Everything. P.s. im a cat, not a donkey. ”

Om- “yes. youre a cat. A cat that can get hangovers… I suppose that speaks to your human side, even though theres no mistaking youre quite the hairless feline. Dont give me that withering look. That was a compliment. Honestly.”

Odie – “Then I would much rather be seen as human first and foremost for my ability to shit in a pan and not on the floor. I learned from the best. Secondly, because I can hold this convo with you. Thirdly, because ultimately im funnier than you. Voila and Finito.”

Om- “really? ill be sure to let everyone reading this know you think youre funnier. Theyll be stunned with disbelief. Just like I am now.”

Odie- “thanks. Youre a real gem. And theyll agree. With me. Just wait til the comments pour in. In my favor.”

Om – “any time lil man. Just remember funny can’t open a fresh can of fancy feast turkey giblets in the morning! Or put them in a clean dish next to a fresh bowl of water. And funny certainly cant wipe your ass after you take that divinely targeted shit you just sang about.”

Odie -“duly noted. Youre def funnier. Funniest human, I mean being, I know. Paws down.”

om – “I knew you would agree. Nite my little ham with legs. Turkeys coming right up in the a.m. and toilet paper as needed.”

Odie – “this is why I love you. Nite mom.”

Hugs,
O and om