odie. and odie mama.
im terribly sad at this moment. and perhaps overly tired. stuck in this pattern of questioning
god made me an artist. but he also made it virtually impossible to do my art. i have little confidence in my work. i find it difficult to make time for it. im the worst procrastinator in the universe. i tire easily, im distracted by the slightest thing. i have trouble concentrating. i have trouble working through the painful difficult moments that being an artist means having to struggle through for any success. i must admit im terribly lazy. i dont appreciate my work or my talents. i find it difficult to share. and i cant believe im writing this blog and will soon hit the publish button.
i doubt that anyone will read this.
if theres a place that dreams go to live then there must be a place that dreams go to die. im very afraid that ive found that place where you bury your passions, forget your desires, trample your creativity, chastize your instincts to fly free, supress your spirit, and give in to reality.
im afraid that my real world responsiblity detour will be a permanent slide into the darkest depths of hell. the place that dreams go to die. many peoples dreams end up there. maybe most.
ill still post a happy picture. about where dreams go to live.
i still have hope. perhaps mine will go there too.
i dont want to depress him.