amazing nature landscapes: house on prairie hill

dearest odyssians,

sending more landscape loveliness your way this day.


o and om

*yes, odie is feeling better.. not 100% yet, but better. thank you for your well wishes. lets see if he likes his new food.


amazing nature landscapes: two reflection sunsets (revealing layers of truth)

dearest odyssians,

earlier i wrote that sometimes we can only know ourselves by asking others who we are. after all,  it is through others eyes that our place in the world is staged. not determined, albeit, but staged. it is in an outsider environment that our delusions, whatever they may be, can be mitigated by society’s and loved ones reality.  i spoke with cam about a natural human desire to create what i dubbed “accurate impact”. approriate legacy. accurate history. despite respect.  Accurate impact is about attaining a proper self (in the now, future, future perfect) in an ever changing world where human perspectives  and recollection/historical records are as skewed as the topmost layer of ocean on a stormy day. reminding ourselves that our own self images can be even more skewed if allowed to run rampant without refrain.

Today im throwing that all away and saying that only we can know ourselves. whatever history dictates for us is irrelevant.

go beyond those layers that weve added as an existential buffer to the other layers weve all built atop  layers weve skillfully fastened upon a mysterious mountain like number of secret extra layers created to beguile all earthly witnesses – lets call these profound layers “Personality”.  now go beyond the next set of layers that are almost as much emotional as physical in their existence, almost as much reality as untouchable soul… lets call these layers “the subconscious”

now go beyond the next layers you find. those best described as a soft underbelly of pale pink flesh so slight, so minimal in existence that no one has ever seen or will ever see them. so remote and hidden that no one has ever spoken of them before. these layers are so thin the very pulse of our thoughts as they form in our bodies are visible through them. we cannot name these layers for they are so faint they could never be seen by the aided human eye.

now go even further. beyond one last layer – beyond the most succulent point of our visceral coverings. a final hidden, never before seen layer that only exists in the very breath of others that have passed in another dimension- the final layer that protects the most vulnerable parts of ourselves  – and you will find a place we ourselves are scared to talk about.

this is where our truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth lies. a truth that perhaps we can hardly handle for the knowing of it.

vulnerable. exposed. real. raw. open. pure.

this is who we are.

beyond layers as thin as cloud, your inner truth lies

only god is able to reach inside that point and scoop out what is contained there beyond all other layers . to hold it in his hands at once. to weigh it/ us against all other things. and against the very truth itself.

and only we are privileged to know what lies within us while still mortal. we are not able to weigh it. we are just able to feel it is there.

i had to ask myself today:

whens the last time you peeled back all of those protective layers.  and examined your real self. in the comfort and quiet of your own thoughts. without distraction. or hope of a different reality.

who was it that you found there?

is that true self allowed to live freely in society?

is that true self the one you allow to wake and fulfill the day?

if not, how can you bring your true self to the forefront?

should you?

*of course odie has never had to ask or answer these questions. but i have.


O and OM

mirrors in oil : self portraits by the great masters : part 1

the following is a selection of self-portraits drawn by the grand masters of oil painting. i hope you enjoy their singular truth!
van gogh. (1853-1890)
i found this portrait to be his most crisp. and engaging. as if hes looking through me as i look through him.
the impulsive and tempestuous frida khalo (1907-1954) . “I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best.” She also stated, “I was born a bitch. I was born a painter.” rock on!
paul cezanne (1839-1906) is considered to be the bridge between modern impressionism and cubism. which face is captured here? that of the financial priviledged painter of most his years or the isolated divorcee of his later ones?
albrecht durer. (1471- 1528) was a German painter, printmaker, engraver, mathematician, and theorist who was reknowned by his 20s. is that whimsy i detect in the face of the man considered to be the master of the Northern renaissance? an interesting looking fellow indeed.
lucien freud. (1922-2011) wiki says it best: His works are noted for their psychological penetration, and for their often discomforting examination of the relationship between artist and model.” therefore i am drawn to this selfportrait, done in 1985, because of its examination between artist and artist and model and model. strange….
christian seybold. 1695-1768. i have chosen to include his self portrait as an older man. his eyes capture something for me. their opacity is incredible. and timeless. not the fur, however. thats a little old school. nonetheless this work is proof of his position as a master portrait painter of all time.
giorgio de chirico.(1888-1978) a greek born italian, metaphysicist and surrealist, painter. “De Chirico’s later paintings never received the same critical praise as did those from his metaphysical period (1909-1919)”. He resented this, as he thought his later work was better and more mature. so do i. this self portrait is from c. 1925.
edward hopper (1882-1967). a prominent american realist painter and printmaker. Always reluctant to discuss himself and his art, Hopper simply summed up his art by stating, “The whole answer is there on the canvas.” interestingly enough he worked on this painting from 1925-1930. how do you feel the artists work was influenced by the lapse five years during its creation?
gustave courbet (1819-1877). this self portrait is entitled “the desperate man”. coubet was a realist genius in 19th century france. from the masters mouth: ” I am fifty years old and I have always lived in freedom; let me end my life free; when I am dead let this be said of me: ‘He belonged to no school, to no church, to no institution, to no academy, least of all to any régime except the régime of liberty.’ can you sense his unflinching commitment to expressing his artistic freedom in this piece?
gauguin. (1848-1903). paul entered the artistic flock later than most.and eventually abandoned his family, went to tahiti and got his tropical on, and his pastoral, colorful, primitivist and cloissonist on in his remarkeable paintings. his talent was recognized after he died. a talent that can be seen here in this interesting portrait.
delaney (1901-1979) found his art calling as a part of the new york harlem renaissance painting depictions of minority hardships in america. he was extremely isolated and lived as a closeted homosexual during this time. but, in ’52 delaney moved to Paris and experienced personal and artistic freedom the city offered. sadly the drink caught up with him by the early 60s and by the early 70s delaney was committed to an institution due to his deteriorated mental state. which of delaney’s emotions do you feel are captured here?

truly great painted self portraits are feats of artistic magic. since the subject and creator are the same the artist’s view into the subjects soul is as clear as humanly possible. All of the subject’s varying emotions, changing sentiments, conflicting opinions, and changes in appearance are completely known and therefore, the painter faces the challenge of choosing which of the millions of aspects of himself* to include and which to dismiss. sure, there is a hint of selective editing in this process. but there is also a clairvoyance, or final truth, in “reflective” portraiture that cannot be found an any other type of portrait art.

extra credit: can we seperate the artist from his self portrait?

 if we do not know the artists biography can we know the painting?

*and herself. frida as an example.

love odie and odie mama.

more portraits to come this week. stay tuned….

movies against humanity

Netflix recommended a real turd of a movie called “philosophy of a knife”. im still not sure why its called “a knife” and not “the knife”..but thats the least of this films problems. this shit on film attempts to recreate the true story of a top secret bioweapons and human experimentation facility that the Japanese set up during their reign of horror in Manchuria (1937-1945). and fails. big time. if anything, my impression is that the film tried to glorify what took place at unit 751.

thus a far more accurate title would have been “4 hrs admiring the depraved acts of worst kind of people that ever walked the earth, under the guise of medical and military advancement”. do not watch this film. its a pointless, nonsensical homage to gore.. a steaming pile of eye goughing, nightmare inducing caca.

(heres where i admit i saw the first 30 minutes and fast forwarded through the remaining 2 hrs, stopping at interviews/footage/testimonials along the way..I never bothered with the second half, never watched the torture scenes,and i can still give you an accurate review! for those who have seen the whole thing and disagree feel free to comment in the comments section. comments welcome.)

i hoped the film would  be a critically objective documentary that explored one of life’s ultimate unanswered questions…..

“what is evil? where does it come from? how could people be so fucked up? what makes sane men kill in pshychotic and perverse ways, when there is zero justification, even on military paper? how are the “innocent” compelled to join in? what characterisitic, mutant gene, traumatic event, repeated exposure, synaptic snap, can we isolate as the root cause behind evil? why are some people devoid of empathy? how can we identify,  isolate and destroy them before they begin to harm/kill?)

and the film could have done so very effectively by provided the following;

– an in depth analysis of the facility. its construction. underground rooms. chambers. and secrets. location. etc. it only lightly touched on this.

– in depth profiles of the assholes that worked there. all the way from the top military brass down to the guy that incinerated the bodies and the loser that changed the lightbulbs. what the  hell compelled them to commit these acts. waht kind of pressure was used in order to elicit compliance from those lower on an already subhuman totem pole? testimony. trial evidence. notebooks. intereviews. and journals should have been gleaned for valuable info. (it only interviewed one douchbag that was there.)

-the historical relevance of the facility. who else had them at the time.( come on people. we know that these kinds of places were numerous back then and are still in existence). who knew about it? what happened to it after the war?

-in depth profiles of the victims. where they were from. what happened to their families. did any survive. what are survivors/ families dealing with today? how does the community feel. how are they remembered. celebrated? honored? how are their sacrificed lives justified in memory?

-in depth accounts of what happened to the surviving assholes/scientists/participants that worked there? was justice served?

instead the film focused on the experiments, using 13,000 different special effects filmed in extended episodes of people being tortured. dear twisted film maker: interest in a few minor historical aspects of the subject matter does not condone this sort of analysis. shame on the film makers for turning true suffering into torture porn for the masses to pleasure the sickest parts of their psyches.

seeing as the film was 90% bunk and drivel, i went ahead and did my own research, quick research, on the facility. i knew that i could mine more gold from the internet in five minutes than the steaming pile of film could in a double feature. thank you again wiki… the results will amazing:

in the aftermath:

The Chinese built a memorial.

The Japanese denied it existed.

The Americans bargained with the criminals.

And the Russians executed who they could/who remained.

yes sir. the leader of the pack/head butcher scientist enjoyed his life until 1959. in bucolic maryland, usa. yep. you read that right. that satanic sick fuck lived right here next to us. (fuck his wife who says he never lived here.) also, his  fellow scientists/butchers were offered teaching/ research positions at various institutions across the united states. hows that for swift justice? we harbored them in exchange for their “research”. i can see the insightful lab room discussions now..” so dr. _____. people die after having how many pounds of pressure applied to thair bodies in a vacuum chamber? and this was useful how? shame on all the participants. at home and abroad.

the japanese still deny the existence of unit 751. hows that working for them? hint: it isnt. the world knows.  didnt they finally admit to manchuria in 2009? i guess theyre not ready to say they see the cat long after the cats been pulled out of the bag. and been on parade.

the chinese memorial i agree with. and it would ahve been nice if the film had gotten real footage of it and the remaining buildings. which i have a feeling wasnt possible. esp. after the director pitched his idea/ showed the disrespectful script. many of the original buildings remain. they were so well built bunker style that their own peole couldnt destroy them upon end-of-war exit. oh but they tried.

after killing off the last 150 prisoners, those at the facility fled. leaving behind their dirty work. mass graves are still being dug up to this day.

As a result of the biowarfare and the experiments a total of 580,000 people died according to a 2002 study. its an astounding number that horrifies shocks and saddens me. i cannot convey  how deeply upset i am that this happened. and im not naive to this type of desecration of humanity. i have read about other camps and facilities, and we all know this isnt an isolated instance.  im also willing to bet a 3 eyes mutant donkey that testing like this is still going on. on humans.  but each time i hear about the real thing it inflicts new wounds. creates new nightmares. makes me question my idea of god.

the russians acted accordingly. i applaud them on this. they got who they could. some of the victims of the unit were russian. but most were chinese. and korean. some were allied pow’s. women, men, children, infants,  and the unborn were all treated as expendible. no one was spared or given mercy.  i believe human life should be valued. even in wartime. see geneva convention for details.

as for the other side of the coin. the major bioweapons testers at the time were russia. and germany. im sure england and the usa were thinking about entering the mix. but we didntn need to. we had the bomb. not a single nation is immune from the scourge of evil. how does this make you feel?

part 2 of my analysis:

now for the purely analytical sake i tried to look at unit 751 atrocities from the standpoint of the asshole/butcher that was in the room with the knife. if he wasnt your traditional brand of crazy, which ill assume he wasnt, what compelled him to kill so many people?  im truly curious. besides bloodlust. besides torture lust. besides lack of empathy. there must be something more. that x factor.

on paper the facility was for bioweapons creation,but in reality it was for human death testing?… there was zero attempt to save people. to find cures. even then it woldnt be justifed but i might understand it. they just saw how many ways they could kills people. whidh makes no fucking sense. if im hacking off limbs in the name of science dont i want to reattach them in the name of science? why just let the people  die. why let the people suffer? completely unnecessary. completely cruel. and demonic.   there were more than enough wartime injuries to supply medical fodder to this facility? no need to use prisoners. and when its all said and done if someone does have his face burned off on the front lines dont you just toss another person in his place? what does an analysis of how much face burn killed someone provide you with? and why would the person need to be awake during this? just beyond pointlessly dumb. and evil.

i will close by saying those assholes that worked at the unit knew it was wrong. they knew. yet the went ahead and did it. despite what their instincts told them. why?

There is no hell deep enough for those that committed these crimes. No punishment sufficient. No retribution exacting enough. No righteousness for the wicked. just questions left for  good people to ask. why did this happen? where does god come in? what about fate, destiny?  if  we can choose our fate before jumping into this body who the hell would sign up for this? i cant believe that now.. i have to rework my theories. i admit that.

the most interesting questions of the evening is as follows:

what if victims, the unknown, the ignored, the suffering were just a small part of a more powerful persons greater destiny? our planet, as with any working mechanism, has small parts and large parts. each part is important. yet the minute inner workings of the clock are rarely seen. just the face and the hands, etc. thats why more of us need to remember the smaller parts inside. the unseen humans with lesser known destinies, or they will be forgotten forever. washed away by the splash of a larger fish in the endless oceans of life. these are our stories.


a very thankful for her destiny…

odie mama